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Dear Abha,
I don’t know who else I can talk
to about this. This is probably the best way for me to ask
for advice, because whenever I try talking about this to other
people, I get really emotional and I don’t want to talk
about it with my friends.
Anyway, I just got into college, and
was so excited to tell my parents. They have been having a
lot of problems lately, arguing a lot and everything. They
were really happy for me. But about a month later, last week,
they told me that they are thinking about getting a divorce.
I am an only child, and I just feel so
alone now. I feel like maybe they were just staying together
all these years because they didn’t want to distract
me from school and that now that I am in college, they can
take this step. I feel bad that I forced them to stay together
even though they were miserable. I feel like the family I
have loved and lived in was just an illusion created for me
by them, and I feel bad.
I just don’t know how I am going
to make it now and what I should do. I keep thinking, why
did this have to happen to me?
Please help,
“Anil” from Dearborn, Michigan
Dear Anil,
First off, congratulations on your
recent admission to college! Now, it is understandable that
you are feeling bad about what is happening between your parents.
But you have to realize that sometimes people are not meant
to be together. Your parents don’t want you to have
to see them fighting and struggling. They want to focus their
attention on your exciting future, and they have decided that
the only way for them to do that, is by a divorce. You cannot
blame yourself for this decision. I suggest that you talk
to each of them separately. Share with them your concerns
and sadness. Being open about your feelings will help you
and your parents. This discussion won’t take the pain
away, but it should help make it clear to you that you are
not responsible for their decision. Best of luck!!!
Abha
About Abha:
"I've had many a conversation with friends about the meaning
of life. Also, I am a first generation Indian American who
grew up in the U.S., trying to figure out the never ending
question of how to live in two cultures, be a daughter, sister,
wife, daughter-in-law, working woman, woman of the house and
be a cool social chick. Oh yeah, I have a M.A. in Organizational
Pyschology."
Need a little advice? Think of Abha, who's been through it, and
is ready to help. E-mail your questions to dearabha@tworoots.org.
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